real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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