i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
