i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
