Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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