a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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