I want to make a zoo with you.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
