Non-Jews are for practice
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
