I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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