Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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