I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
