I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
