Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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