a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
