I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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