Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
