You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
