Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
