I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
