wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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