Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
