sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
