Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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