Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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