You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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