It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
my poor anus
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
