i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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