Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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