he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
