Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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