I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
