Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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