Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
