I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
