i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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