One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't deserve a penis
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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