i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
