just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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