I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
