So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
