no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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