chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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