the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
false alarm. still invincible.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
