he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
