forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
