I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The beer is more important than you right now.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
