Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
