i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
