Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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