just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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