i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
