You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
