Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Sober January is a disaster.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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