I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
