Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
it's great music for shaving your balls
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
